I highly recommend you read the “Success Sucks!” book before reading this post. It will have more meaning if you do it in that order. Nonetheless, since we are all born at some point and die, hopefully at another point, these “taphs” or gravestone inscriptions are here to give you a laugh, one good way of going out, or impart some sentimentality or wisdom. Long walks through graveyards always lift my spirits and reinvigorate my sense of purpose. Unfortunately, the same cannot apply to the inmates, so might as well read them while you’re on top of the lawn.

 

I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK

 

HERE LIES JOHN YEAST

PARDON ME FOR NOT RISING

 

ONE WAY

DO NOT ENTER

 

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

(Mel Blanc)

 

I WILL NOT BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS MESSAGE

(Merv Griffin)

 

HERE LIES

LESTER MOORE

FOUR SLUGS

FROM A 44

NO LES

NO MORE

 

THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD

(Rodney Dangerfield)

 

I’M A WRITER

BUT THEN

NOBODY’S PERFECT
(Billy Wilder)