TP? You know. That roll of wipe for your derrier. Ps pop. The first thing you learn when you go to school to become a radio host is not to pop your Ps. It hurts the listeners’ ears and competes with the Rice Krispies in their bowl. But our old pal Tony Robbins doesn’t give a pop. I say P on that!

In one of his many forceful, really ridiculous recipes, Robbins (I am now guilty of alliteration using the letter R, always more fun with a Scottish accent; try it at home!) claims that there are three things you must stop doing if you want to succeed (we’ve already gone over the hard, cold facts that 1. not everyone can succeed, even if they want to; and 2. what the hell is success anyway?), and guess what? They all start with P. I had to put cotton balls in my ears after they got hurt during this 60-second video. Hey, maybe I should sue Robbins, but I, unlike him do not live in a litigious society; I chose to watch the stupid video. My fault, not his.

So, what is this magical trio that will ensure your success? Stop doing these. Now, of course I have an issue with this set-up right out of the freezer compartment: none of these are physical things you could stop doing. Like, stop cooking (sorry, Mummy). They’re psychological, at least, interpretive in greater accuracy. What he’s telling you is to stop thinking. He did and he’s a success!
Let’s dissect these three Robot Robbins’ axioms:

1. He says: Permanent Problems. Two Ps! There must have been a BOGO sale! What he says here is half true: no problems are permanent. What he misses is: neither is life. Everything undulates, and for most of us, mostly downhill, with a painful uphill struggle to get almost back to the pinnacle. Our pinnacle, not his. The globally famous axiom, “this, also, shall pass”, is essential to remember when you are suffering. Also, when you just won an Oscar. I don’t need to list Oscar winners whose careers tanked after they won, do I???

2. He says: Pervasive. What he says here is half true: when one major thing goes wrong, we tend to think our lives are crap,

not just the one soufflé that fell, the entire kitchen. What he misses is: if a major thing goes wrong, for example, you lose your job as a chef at the top-rated Michelin restaurant in the world, you have a problem because there’s nowhere to go but down. A catastrophic event can and often does change your life entirely. Ask the mostly First Nations (indigenous) folks in Lytton (NE of Vancouver), British Columbia, Canada. Their town was wiped out in a wildfire in July 2021, and most of them have not been able to rebuild (and trust me, most of them will try to resettle in a place that is subject to wildfires…). People and pets died, 1,000 fled, 90% of the village was completely destroyed. Pervasive. Positively. And they have the right to feel as though life is garbage from stem to stern.

3. He says: Personal. What he says is half true: very few of us, with the exception of Robbins and his ilk, think so highly of ourselves that we do not see ourselves as intrinsically flawed in some way. What he misses is: if we’re good looking, our teeth aren’t perfect, or we’re not intelligent enough. Is there something wrong with me? Yes! Me, too. Please always remember flying merde. If you understand that accidents happen and Murphy, in writing his famous law, was correct, then you can find a way to not take bad things personally. 

Now, get thee to the kitchen of life and try to make that cheesy delicious soufflé again. I know it’s hard. Why bother? Because even a flat soufflé tastes like utter heaven. No, not petty putrid purgatory. Purrgatory if you’re a pussycat. Note: cats love fallen cheese soufflés, not such much chocolate ones. If a cat will eat it, it’s a success.